Family

 The core was three sisters and a baby brother, although the baby brother is no longer a baby - born about the same time we got married which was 56 years ago.  And the sisters are eligible to collect social security.  All gathered together to remember dad whose chair is permanently empty.

Each has two children, five daughters and three sons, all eligible for marrying.  One has married but she lives on the East Coast and didn't join the family for this service.  She was with them five months ago when they celebrated their grandmother's life.  Add several aunts and uncles and a handful of cousins and you have a couple dozen sharing the bathroom and vying for a seat at one of the small conversations.

"What was the third girl's name?  There was Fran and Betty and ...?"  I pull up an app on my phone and declared cautiously, "Eva," allowing for some refute.  "Ah, yes, Eva, and brother Conrad."  Another family of three girls and one brother, but two generations earlier, grandpa's half-siblings.

A nearly thirty-year old sheet of paper listing the birthdays of descendants of grandma and grandpa in my family tree data base lies on the table amid the cousins.  Questions continue to rise: "Who's the oldest cousin?"  Less seriously "Who was twelfth?"  I grab my iPad and put a family tree on the screen.  It slowly and quietly moves around the table everyone looking for their name and how it fits into the bigger picture.  Later there a hint that an updated list would be interesting and helpful.  As an advocate of family histories and research, I have self-appointed myself to pursue this task, especially since I have most of the data.  It's taking a couple days to put together the 200 names with birthdays and send drafts to the families for proofreading.  Some responded immediately; others will come later.

Myths about families tell how families bring their differences to the fore around the Thanksgiving dinner.  This group qualifies as a Thanksgiving dinner but the differences stayed quietly in the background, each respecting the other's ideas and thoughts, possibly because Dad isn't there.

Group activities, spontaneous and unplanned, were the traditional gelato tasting "what's in that sample" and some not-so-solitaire solitaire card games.  Those were secondary to continuous multiple conversations and eating.  Freshly baked sweet rolls generated some debate as to if they were called caramel rolls or cinnamon rolls.  No consensus was arrived at.  Pizzas filled the stomaches in the evening as slowly groups headed home or the airport.

Oh, yes, there was the memorial service, the reason for the gathering - simple and meaningful with bagpipes and remembrances.  The service will hold the record for the most mentions of horses in any such service - Dad was a lover of horses.  He was also very determined to bounce back from challenges which he passed on to the family.  And the family will bounce back.